Why people are judgmental - How to be vigilant in your judgments of others!
Be
vigilant in your judgments of others!
‘Those people are like this, these people are like that ...
Sound familiar? Our tendency to make unfair, biased and
un-informed negative judgments of others.
Dropping
your judgment and expectation of others: What does this mean for your own
personal growth towards extraordinary living?
“If
you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ~Mother Theresa
Let
me start off by saying, it is sometimes
necessary to make judgments based on our assessment of our environment for
safety & life-preservation. This is not the context of this post.
What
does it mean when we negatively and unfairly judge people?, or expect people to
be a certain way, instead of just accepting and allowing people to be who they
are, or what they aspire to be.
"Your perceptions and judgments of others reveal so much
about your own personality," says Dustin Wood, assistant professor of
psychology at Wake Forest.
In the study of psychology, we find that people who tend to
describe, judge or perceive others with a more positive view, give insight into
their own personality traits & qualities. Researchers have found strong
associations between positively judging others and how enthusiastic, happy,
kind-hearted, courteous, emotionally stable and capable the person is.
Conversely, the
really interesting finding, is that those who are less flexible in their
judgments of others, also tend to be less well-adjusted themselves. Negative
perceptions and unfair judgments of others, are linked to higher levels of
narcissism and antisocial behavior. The tendency to judge people negatively
indicates a greater likelihood of depression and various personality disorders.
"People who tend to say that others do things because of their
personality traits (a judgment) tend to have less adaptive personalities
themselves. Those who judge others in a rigid way, are found to have less charm
and appreciation of humor, to be less considerate and sympathetic of others, to
be more sensitive to criticism, to be fussier about small things, and to be
less warm, cheerful and interesting as a person. Those who tend to ascribe more
traits to others, also tend to be more anxious, less confident and less capable
of dealing with stress than others.”
The
point is, if you are happy with your life and who you are, you are less likely to feel the
need to judge others, or if you are happy with who you are, and tend to take pride
& joy in being judgmental over others, then you may need to check yourself...
12
Reasons why we judge others
1. We
are insecure.
2. They are different from us.
3. They do not agree with us.
4. We
are scared.
5. We do not like them.
6. They hurt us or offended us.
7. We
are lonely
8. We feel rejected, accused, or insulted.
9. We expect or look for the worst in them.
10.
We are angry at them.
11.
We
are seeking change.
12.
We want to hurt them or get them back
7 Things
judgments do
1. Hurts
people.
2. Prevents
you from getting to know the person.
3. Makes
you feel worse about yourself once you are done negatively judging others.
4. Perpetuate
stereotypes.
5. Creates
a pattern of negativity in your life.
6. Makes
you judge yourself more rigidly.
7. Makes
others judge you.
6 Ways to
Stop Judging
1. Monitor
your thoughts.
2. Look
for the positive
3. Avoid
stereotyping.
4. Stop
judging yourself.
5. Focus
on your own life.
6. Remember
how it feels to be judged.
Live
a well extraordinary life.
Marie
Joshua Jones
Psychological
Counselor & Well-being Practitioner
Comments